What does it really mean to be a Stoic?

An answer to the question “What does it really mean to be a Stoic?”

Viktor Frankl in his book Man’s search for Meaning writes that “everything can be taken from us but the last of the human freedoms – the freedom to choose our attitude in any set of circumstances.”

He describes how even in Auschwitz it was possible for a few prisoners to remain as they were, refusing to be molded into the typical miserable, conniving prisoner, eager to collaborate with his guards and to steal from his fellow mates.

It’s a very good definition (I used it in my UPSC interview too), and it covers the essence of Stoicism.

But most of us won’t find ourselves in Auschwitz.

So I had the same question. What does it really mean to be a Stoic – what does it mean to me?

This is how I pictured it.

Every single thing that befalls you is a stimulus. Often, it’s not in your control.

What is in your control is your response.

Many times we think the response is not in our control. We think the response has to follow the stimulus.

So if your laptop crashes and you lose all your work – you have to be upset.

If you do badly in an exam – you must be sad.

That isn’t necessarily the case. You don’t have to be. The stimulus does not determine the response – you do.

It’s very easy to preach. But when you find yourself in such a situation, all the theory too often goes out of the window.

Most of us will probably never reach the level of Viktor Frankl’s companions, let alone perfect stoicism.

Instead, it’s possible to improve.

A simple way to gauge your progress:

Ask yourself: What does it take to trigger me? (trigger meaning cause you to lose your balance for long, not that you have to shun all sadness or natural emotion)

The smaller the person, the smaller the stimulus it takes to trigger a response.

You have a surprise quiz scheduled that day.

The food delivery guy never came at all and you missed lunch.

Your answers on Quora don’t get many views; no one reads your books.

You upload a video and get the usual hateful personal comments.

Your boss gives you a dressing down because you messed up.

You lose a loved one.

You’ll notice that the stimulus is getting bigger and bigger with each example. Somewhere, there’s a stimulus that marks our breaking point (there almost always is one)

The question is – where is yours? How easy is it to trigger you?

That’s what stoicism really means.