A Case for Directness

Sometimes the kindest course of action is cruel.

I still recall a small incident that happened a few years back.

I was learning to do free-weight squats, when a middle-aged guy came up to me with some unsolicited advice.

“You’re doing it completely wrong; you have no idea what you’re doing. Go and ask a trainer to show you how it’s done.”

I remember thinking, ‘what an asshole’.

Imagine going up to someone you don’t know only to tell them curtly they’re totally wrong. And saying this so loudly that everyone around is forced to hear, even if they’re not interested.

And then going off, not even bothering to show that person how to correct himself.

I also remember randomly recalling this event a few years after it happened and realizing that I couldn’t have been more wrong.

That guy had absolutely no obligation to correct me.

That he bothered to inform me I was completely wrong wasn’t a sign of his rudeness or arrogance, but a testimony to his kindness.

He could have easily ignored it and let it go – the natural course of action for most of us.

Sandwiching and Sugarcoating

You can always try to fault his behaviour.

He could have put it nicely, said what he had to in a sweeter way.

Perhaps, but I’m grateful he didn’t.

There are two things that usually hold true, though not always.

The first, that people don’t like hearing negative things about themselves, and the second, that people love hearing positive things about themselves.

HR folks know this.

That’s why there’s something called a ‘sandwich approach‘.

When you want to give a negative feedback, sandwich it between two positive ones – like a tomato sandwiched between loaves of bread.

This ‘eases the blow’. It makes it less likely the person responds emotionally and thus defensively, and instead listens and tries to act on the feedback.

Which is the goal after all – to change behaviour.

A similar approach is ‘sugarcoating‘ – instead of saying ‘you’re completely wrong‘, you could exaggerate the positives and tone the negatives down.

Such as saying something along the lines of ‘you’re doing well, and you could try this to make it even better‘.

The problem with sugarcoating often is that only the sugar remains and the message fades away. And with sandwiching, that the tomato is hidden by the loaves of bread.

Every time someone fluffs and coats their message, it becomes harder to filter to arrive at the core because you have to separate the signal from the padding.

And unless you’ve made a conscious effort, you tend to cling to positive reinforcement and shun negative criticism – because we usually like hearing good things about ourselves, and don’t like hearing negative things.

Which means that you might take to heart a compliment or positive feedback that wasn’t really meant to be anything more than a sandwich or padding for the real negative feedback that someone meant to share.

Worse still, most likely, you won’t take notice of the negative feedback at all, or if you do, you dilute it and undermine its importance.

That’s completely understandable, because you’ve no way of knowing the real purpose of the interaction was to inform you of the negative feedback; the positive feedbacks were just padding to cushion the blow.

If there was no padding, sure, the blow would have hurt more, but at least there’s a higher chance you’d have known of the true priority order – the negative feedback was the essence, the rest extraneous.

Now you can always argue that if the person was eager to improve, he’d act on the feedback anyway, padding or no padding, but that’s perhaps not the point.

If you’d like to leave the person better off, the point would be to maximize the likelihood that the person you’re interacting with benefits from that interaction, regardless of what sort of person he is. A driven person would course-correct either way – you don’t need to think about him.

Emotional Responses

Because people usually don’t like hearing negative things about themselves, the response to direct, blunt criticism is usually an emotional and defensive one.

Defensive, because you attempt to counter the allegation rather than ascertain its truthfulness.

It’s like immediately responding that ‘my squat form doesn’t suck’ rather than asking yourself, ‘does my squat form suck?’

It’s also emotional because the answer to the question isn’t an attempt to logically find a true answer.

The aim is to emotionally defend your ego which you associate with the issue – which means you’re not trying to find the true answer, but the answer that saves your face..

Admitting that the rude, perhaps arrogant guy running you down has a point might become an emotional issue now, like a competition between you both where if one wins the other has to lose – if he’s right, you’re ‘wrong’.

Soft Approaches

Sandwiching might work in a lot of cases.

Sometimes, it can feel artificial though.

It might be just lying to say something nice when you can’t think of anything.

But when you tell someone something nice, even if it’s true, if the sole reason you’re doing it is so that you can ‘sandwich’ the real negative message between this nice thing, you wonder how genuine it is.

It’s not very different from saying nice but true things simply to make people feel better.

And people aren’t dumb.

They realize this.

They too might wonder if you really meant it, or you just said it to make them feel better about the negative message you delivered.

You might lose credibility too – any compliment of yours henceforth will come with this suspicion.

Sugarcoating has similar drawbacks as well.

Again, the compliment might or might not be meant sincerely. The person receiving it is going to wonder about that.

Also, sugarcoating usually tones down the message, diluting it. If someone’s service technique or squat form is terrible, praising it might blind them to just how wrong it really is.

Avoiding sandwiching and sugarcoating doesn’t automatically mean you always have to fall to the other extreme of bluntly telling people harsh truths.

Sandwiching is coating a negative with a different positive, sugarcoating is sprinkling some positivity on a negative.

I’m sure there are many other ways to go about it.

One is just stressing more on the ‘what is to be done‘ rather than the ‘how badly wrong you are‘.

After all, that’s more important – the solution.

The problem is important only to the extent you need to understand it to solve it; you don’t need to describe how bad it is – that doesn’t solve anything.

Like telling someone to hold his racquet a particular way while serving, and how he should not be holding it – both what is to be done and what is to be avoided – instead of pointing out how badly he’s doing it.

Johari Window

Johari window - Wikipedia
Johari Window

The Johari Window is a well known model, useful for thinking about a lot of things.

There are 4 parts to it:

  1. Arena: What you know about yourself, and others do too.
  2. Facade: What you know about yourself, but others don’t.
  3. Blind Spot: What you don’t know about yourself, but others do.
  4. Unknown: What you don’t know about yourself, and other’s don’t either.

It relates here in two ways.

The first is if you’re at the receiving end of feedback.

You’d want to try to get some value out of it.

The most useful is if it’s something you don’t know.

It can’t be in the unknown, because then others wouldn’t know it either, and so they can’t tell you about it.

Therefore it’s in your blind spot, and now it’s a chance to become aware of it and bring it to the arena, the part of the Johari Window known to both yourself and others.

Of course, it doesn’t mean you accept it uncritically, others can often be wrong.

But at least not responding emotionally means you’re open to the possibility of accepting criticism.

In fact, more than just being open, you should welcome it – criticism is the chance for you to get better; praise doesn’t make you better.

Finding an Approach

But what about when you deal with others?

Let’s assume the only objective is to be effective – meaning to tell someone something they benefit from.

The objective is not to make someone feel good (it’s fine if it happens, but it isn’t the direct objective), and definitely not to make yourself feel good by saying nice things.

This is not the same thing as intentionally trying to make someone feel bad. Given a choice, you’d try to make them feel good, but not at the cost of effectiveness. That’s all it means.

What approach works best – sandwiches, sugarcoating or bluntness?

It’s not as simple as one answer for every situation; even for the same person the same approach might not always work well.

If someone’s doing something ‘wrong’, the question is – are they aware of what they’re doing or not?

This is where the Johari window comes in.


If a person’s aware, then informing him that he should change might not have any effect; he already knows what he’s doing and he clearly thinks its right, or he’d have changed already.

This is the Arena in the Johari Window – something a person as well as others around him are aware of.

Instilling any change here requires something drastic if it’s got any hope of succeeding – perhaps a lot of gentle, patient effort, or some direct, blunt truths that don’t cushion the blow.

You have to ‘make the deaf hear’ – make someone who knows what he’s doing and thinks it’s right change his ways. He’s probably already deaf to most criticism because he’s heard it before.

Blind Spot

Now suppose that he’s not aware of what he’s doing.

Then maybe there’s a chance all you need to do is point it out gently, and he’ll agree.

Imagine you’re dealing with someone’s blind spot – that means the behaviour is known to others (like yourself) but not to the person himself.

This is something about him that you know but he doesn’t.

Do you need to be harsh here?

Perhaps not since you’re providing him new information, something he doesn’t know already.

There’s at least a chance he’ll act on it now that he’s aware (so long as you don’t lose the core message in a lot of sandwiching).

It’s still possible that blunt, harsh truths could deliver the message faster and more effectively.

But they also carry a risk of triggering an emotional defiance.

You’re telling someone something new, and you’re not shielding him from the impact of it – his first response might be to shield himself, to lessen the blow.

Harsh Truths

There’s something to be said for harsh truths, though I know I’m biased on this issue.

I must be cruel, only to be kind

Hamlet, Shakespeare

I think the best investor, the kindest investor is the one who can tell a person that his idea is total crap when it really is.

It’s not easy to do – not just because you might flinch from someone’s reaction, but also because you can come across as a jerk to others. And to yourself – later, you might feel you were too harsh.

But the one who spins it out and sugarcoats it might dilute the message so much that it doesn’t get across.

Perhaps the best thing would have been to give up and start something new.

But because you didn’t have it in you to say that straightforwardly, the message didn’t go through.

There’s a chance your padding made it seem that there are only a few minor issues to be ironed out, when the whole thing sucks.

Whereas, with harsh truths, usually you provide benefit either way.

Either you open someone’s eyes to their mistake, or you give them a powerful motivation to prove you wrong.

I’m also partial towards harsh truths because I can recognize that I’ve benefited the most from them, even if, at the time, I resented them.

When it’s toned down it’s easier to ignore.

Whereas, although you might resent it and defend against it on the spur of the moment, you usually find that there was some, and often a lot of, truth behind the harshness.

And so there’s delayed gratitude for harsh truths and for those who had it in them to give it to you.

I think it’s also not a mean achievement to be able to take blunt feedback.

To separate your emotions and ego from your thinking, to be able to accept and act on harsh criticism.

Which means that both receiving and accepting harsh truths take something.

That’s why if you’ve ever benefited from them then you’ll probably have a lot of respect for people who dish them out, and you’ll be less likely to judge them harshly for it.


A lot has been said about the person who’s on the receiving end, but looking from the other side helps too.

Putting the point across in the fewest possible words, eliminating all that’s extraneous, has a lot of benefits for you.

It’s a skill, to be able to eliminate what is redundant.

It also increases the probability that the core message is likely to go through because there’s only signal, no noise.

It also means you’re able to reach out to more people.

If you spend 50 minutes saying what you could have said in 5, you’d reach one tenth of the people you could have.

Besides, you typically have a short amount of time per person – to be able to do anything for someone in that limited time, you’d want to be as direct as possible, unless you’re willing to spend ages.

A lot of help seems to be a kind of knowledge transfer – ‘A’ wants to do something, and connects with ‘B’ who’s done that or something similar.

Now ‘B’ has to transfer some of his knowledge – in a way, take ‘A’ along a certain mental path, helping him cover some distance along it after which he’ll be able to find his way.

The onus is now on ‘B’ to cover that distance with A.

You can cover the same distance in five days if you move at a snail’s pace, with low velocity.

Or you can accelerate and raise your velocity, and cover it in a few minutes. This is what directness really is.

It’s socially desirable if it helps you reach more people since you spend less time per person, and have a similar impact.

And it’s personally desirable too.

Although it sounds selfish, you might want to do other stuff with your life beyond just answering people’s questions, especially if you get the same questions repeatedly – which chances are you will, if people think you’re good at something and you can help them with it.

Which is where putting the message across in the smallest amount of time rather than spinning it out helps you.

Perhaps you’d also want to spend more of your time on helping those people who’ll actually benefit, who genuinely intend to act.

I recall someone appearing for an exam, which he’d supposedly been preparing for many years for, but didn’t know the first thing about.

Some of my friends gave him some generic advice – what more could they possibly have done? You can’t fight someone else’s battles.

When he asked me for help, I told him he should do something else with his life; this wasn’t for him, he shouldn’t waste yet another year.

I still think it was the best thing I could have said to him.

When someone needs only a little bit of guidance you might be able to push them in the right direction. Because they’ve taken some steps on their own – you can only help those who help themselves.

When someone has made no effort on their own and expects you to carry them the whole way, you can’t help them.

There’s no way I can sit and spend weeks with every such person helping them, even if I wanted to – my whole life would go in that and I wouldn’t ever be done. And it would be pointless, because there are enough resources for that already – the additional contribution would be zero.

More pointedly, it would all be a waste. You can’t help those who won’t help themselves.

If a person has been twiddling their thumbs waiting for someone to come along and do the heavy lifting for them, they’ll always be disappointed because it doesn’t work that way.

And it’s an insult when someone does nothing themselves and expects you to do their work for them.

It’s not helping to do for someone what they can easily do for themselves.

So the question is – what is the best thing you can do for someone in these cases?

If you go gently, you have to put in a lot of time per person, and you don’t reach many people. Perhaps, though I don’t believe it’s necessarily true, you might do more good per person, but less good per unit time.

Or you give them the truth, as directly as possible for their sake so they benefit, and as efficiently as possible for your sake.



Pratyush sir i wanted to ask this from a very long period of time. I saw one of your interview, You have studied in sanskriti school one of the elitist school of country, then IIT, IIM. Your both parents are top civil servants and you yourself are very handsome. Most probably you would be having most adorable, understanding girlfriend too. In nutshell we can say, you have everything and is privileged which normal person like me only can desire, i know half of things have been created by you through your actions and your efforts.
But my question is what made you to read and write such a deeper philosophy. It is well said that the loneliest people are the kindest, the saddest people smile brightest and most damaged people are wisest. I haven’t seen strong person with easy past. What was your reason which made you so philosophical!???? Please answer sir.

Sweta Tripathi

John its a typical stereotype that the saddest person smiles the brightest no only strong person smiles the brightest … I have seen many people who after a heartbreak isolate themselves from others and becomes pessimistic about everything .. Same goes with lonely people not all are kind not all are bad ….it varies from person to person …
And reading philosophy is a choice and interest of a person to understand the deeper meanings of life its not that after a tragic event only one reads “Bhagvad Geeta ” its your interest . Plus belonging to a good background only gives a financial advantage not an emotional and physical advantage every person be it a billionaire or a low middle class person all has to go through the game of mental friction… and there the great minds of the history helps us to ease it down ..


Everybody has more or less the same physical emotions due to hedonic adaptation, negative bias, etc.


Your assumptions are wrong. You could actually reverse it and argue the opposite if you wanted, that it’s only those with enough privilege who can afford to think of other things. Point being that all those stereotypes don’t hold true, people aren’t just moulded by circumstances of birth.

Sweta Tripathi

Ajeeta if you don’t care about what he said and others think about you then why r you investing your energy in explaining them who you are and what u have achieved …

Just say thanks to him for his kindness as he wrote such a long message only to point out what he think u might don’t know abt urself and if u don’t agree with him simply say u wrongly interpreted my actions but I appreciate that u told me truly what u felt I will think abt it thats it…..
Stay calm bcoz nobody remembers anything at the end which I think u yourself are very much familiar of…


Hey Ajeeta, atleast for God’s sake think twice before commenting on Posts, i believe almost everyone who regularly reads Pratyush’s posts is fed up of your spams to the level that people have stopped reading cmnts and getting any value of them.

Miss Advocate

You both as interpreted her, totally agree with you both sweta & honey.
I have been an old reader of pratyush blog,
Everyone is here for Pratyush’s blog ,& for his comment answers.
No offence but i have noticed, no blog is left without her comments,
What i strongly feel, she wants “Attention” of pratyush that’s the reason she has to jump into all the conversation going on.
As No one is interested in her, she has to accept this soon.

Sweta Tripathi

I did not interpret her I just asked her to stay calm thats it… Why are we even discussing this I think its enough we all are making this peaceful place suddenly ” Big boss ” I mean yaar sb pagal ho rkhe h lg rha h jaise Ajeeta ka comment band kra kr Russia or Ukraine me peace establish ho jaega .seriously hahaha…
And Ajeeta be cool girl take things lightly criticism ko hash k udha dena chaiye … Ab socho what would have happened if Narendra Modi also started reacting to every small criticism ….


Miss Advocate

Although criticism is a part of life , person should not be afraid of,
She should continue with what she enjoys or benifits to her.
But it should not that her extraordinary actions starts distrubing others.
That’s the thing what i wrote. Now request you to close this unsual gossips. it may be bothering pratyush hahaha🤭
or He may prohibit us to ask questions from next time.

More power to you ajeeta


Don’t get why y’all r judging a individual…If it is problem, the author must intervene. You guys could ignore her comments in the same way it is done in any social media…

Ajeeta, don’t mind them. But dont also let go of your self-value… Best of luck for prelims…

Miss Advocate

You may assume that it’s kind of misogynistic comment,
But i had conversation with you earlier, you put your views without asking as many of us said ,So what i felt i said like others said.
Think of it girl.
Although who i m to judge you ???
Neither my intention is… nor i have time to do such things.
your actions can be interpreted in many ways by many people because you are writing on public platform.
As i said, you may have intention to get “Pratyush Attention ” that you also write or may have intention to learn by writing from prayush writing… pratyush may notice you that she is being influenced by my writing whatsoever. it can be anything, so i casually said …… But meanwhile writing or exploring you forgot, it may annoy people as it did.

Somewhere & others i agreed with HONEY so wrote casually chill.
Accept what exactly creating nuisance around.
Perhaps you have your own, parameters of thoughts I cnt help it.
if you took it contrary.


Let me Help you to identify the Problem you’re facing Ajeeta : It’s Wokeism
In your context people like you thinks that juggling some ideas or using vocabularies like ‘misogynistic’/’patriarchy’ makes their cause valid but the hard truth is this disease keeps never lets you understand the underlying grey areas-worse than ignorance. You are a true example of ‘how to make fool of your ownself’ and a highly intolerant individual must say. People here corrected you in such a warm tone but i think you’ve taken ‘Keyboard warrior’ thing seriously , writes long paragraphs for things that can be said in 2 lines. But i think you’ll understand all of this one day when you’ll understand Hegel’s(thesis-antithesis=Synthesis)Carry on!


Insightful as always.


Sir tell me
1.how you manage stress,anxiety comes before exams…
One of your interviews ,you told that you never ran behind the good cgpa, 9ther than that you were always focused on getting good knowledge, whatever you are studying….
Sir I want to know that how you developed that habit of understanding things not ratta like others do for getting top cgpa?
2.Sir how to stop overthinking, and negative self talks,most of the places there is written,whatever you thi k that happens but in my case it’s totally different why this happens so and do you believe in this statement too?
3.Sir in life how to forget the bad memories, past experience which were bad.I know everyone goes through certain phases ,how to overcome this?
4.currently I am in graduation Sir I respect you alot and I also wanna be like you the strongest person I ever got to know.Sir You are very strong. I wanna know how you become like this the way your now,I mean I know everyone is different but really your mindset and thought process is so clear.
I also want to get that kind of clarity in life Sir.
5.sir how to start believe in self.
It happens many times when we stop believing in ourselves because of the experiences that we had gotten in past.
6.Sir how to make mind logical, like you said we need to understand things not cramming how to understand things that are given in textbooks,notes,actually Sir mere end semester exam. Hain wo bhi offline mode mai after long period of time bahot panic hui padi hai…kuch .nahi kia ab tak,guide in this too Sir padhai karte hain forget Kar jaate hain….
Any tips please give Sir ji to your juniors…!


I’ve written about all of this in my book Beyond Human.


Sir but from 1 April I have my exams now I have ordered beyond human now it will take time to come to me…
Aap aise hi bata do na if possible thodasa…
After my exams I will read that..

Deepshikha sharma

Sir I want to say you have very stable personality

Nikita Bhandari

Sir, your articles are just like ‘momos’.. It takes sufficient skills, so much time, sincerity in efforts and patience to prepare it… But once you start eating and savouring the flavors,, you don’t even realise when you land on the last piece in no time… And once finished, only the taste of the flavors remains and you can’t wait to have another momo plate next…
I m feeling the same after finishing this article.


Sir,tell na what to do to memorize everything before exams,it’s happening like I reading and forgetting…
I have my end sem from 1 April I don’t have time it’s a panic situation sir.
Please guide something how to tackle the situation and read and recall and remember everything in less days for exams…
Please sir advice…panic hori hai bahot.
Aap kaise padhai karte if aapka bhi aisa hota situation ki kuch nahi hua hai types.
From that you could u do things and get over.?


Currently I don’t have access to your book all I have my syllabus books and that too I didn’t have completed sirji how to be positive in these situations help me sir…

Nikita Bhandari

I m afraid if sir can comment here his experience coz he being in similar situation is hard to believe…

Still considering your situation, in my opinion u take a deep breath and start studying only that part of the syllabus which is enough to pass the end sem… After that if u still have time u can study little bit more… Throughout this period don’t think about result/rank as u don’t have time… And don’t forget your current situation ever so that it can motivate u to prepare well in the next semesters.
Always remember “Future favours the brave.”


How to understand things sir?
Like my end sem are going on I went on doing ratta I forgot everything and got confused…..now I decided I will understand things and give exam but that too I am reading forgetting I am not recalling things….pls advice

Ragini Rawat

Ohhh Sir I’m so glad that you actually wrote on this.
I also have something to add here in case you might find it to be an interesting idea too.

There’s something called ‘Ask culture & Guess culture’.

Now I’m a person who totally belongs from Ask culture (may be because of the way that it runs in my family).
So one time in my college I asked this girl ( I barely knew her) if she can give me her practical file for a day so I can just prepare mine (since I’ve had flunked all my practical classes in that semester anyway lol) and her face immediately got pale.. like she just got trampled down by a truck or something.. hahaha.. and on seeing her expressions I went on “Ohh it’s fine! Why’d you make a face as if I’ve asked you to donate me your kidney lol ?”.. so me and my friends just had a good laugh on it and we left. Now days later in practical lab some of her friends approached me telling that she actually felt very bad about the stuff that happened. To that point I actually didn’t even realize that someone would actually sit there & would contemplate on something that wasn’t even meaningful for someone who said it. I anyway talked out w/ her and we actually ended up becoming very close friends after that. But I still kept thinking about it.. why do some people think so much and wouldn’t say a word while others would say everything without even thinking about it ( someone like me lol) & that’s when I came across this “Ask vs Guess Culture” thing.

Now the thing is that it’s not that one is better than other & even if we try to take side of one extreme we would totally end up ignoring the heterogeneous ways in which our society functions. So for me I knew that its logical to ask what I want and expect an answer in the format of ‘yes /no’ or ‘black/white’ thing but there are high chances of other person (from a guess culture ) entering into the grey zone. As a result every time an Asker meets a Guesser… conversation gets little unpleasant for either of them (for Guesser in most cases since they actually try to be more polite and stuff, gets frustrated from inside because of bottling up their emotions and ends up ruining the situation for both of them ).

Belonging from Ask or guess culture is also not just on personal level.. but on multiple levels. Like we can say… usually women tend to be more of a Guesser and men more of an Asker because of the way they’re raised. And like Western culture is more of an Asker but our Asian culture is more a guesser (Just a thing that I thought.. you can totally counter me on this point though).

So what’s the solution ? TBH I don’t know.. this is where I want you Pratyush sir to share your ideas too.. which you’ve pretty much done in this essay of yours. So for now I believe it’s more a situational thing now.. I’m gonna be straightforward as I always have been.. but I’m slowly trying to work on understanding how psyche of Guessers work… so it can save me in coming as rude & presumptuous or ruining my first impression in front of someone next time 🙂

Nikita Bhandari

In one of sir’s articles he talks about the significance of tolerance. In any kind of situation where u might get triggered or say u are already triggered just keep on reminding yourself that u have to hold your calm and be more tolerant. When u start seeing the “triggered emotion” and “you” as two different entities then your tolerance stops putting burden on your head and starts helping you in detaching yourself from that triggered emotion within a lesser time,, then you reach a stage where u can decide how to and when to respond and accordingly you start regulating your actions rationally.

Hope it helps and good luck for your prelims….


You can find something similar here under the idea of ‘being and feeling’.
And a related idea here too.

Btw, the first sentence you wrote would have sufficed, second one doesn’t add anything.

Nikita Bhandari

Sometimes we voluntarily share some ideas to someone/in a common platform, so that it can also help someone else going through something similar to find their ways out, the way it helped us…. It is called the “art of giving” which again I learnt better from one of sir’s articles… Not everyone who tries to give wants to sound/act wise… Its just your perception…
All the things that sir write might be in a certain context for him… But many of us read them to understand our life situations better and find relevant solutions… I spend more time deriving solutions rather than criticising the troubles,, thats my approach…. Yours might be different…
The way u are talking about your frustation about comments and unasked answers,, I feel sorry for you…
I hope sir’s articles also help you to come up with solutions for your issues,, the way it helped me…


Your advice and your concern is genuine, meaningful and useful.
I think you started following this blog recently so you are not aware of spam and free advices 😂😂. let me explain why everyone here are so frustrated. You can imagine to what extent people are fed up of free advices, long unnecessary and irrelevant comments that they unanimously asked the spammer to stop. We ask for advices, pose questions here, expecting a genuine and meaningful solution. It’s absolutely fine if others share their views. But the problem is spammers are throwing fake wisdom and giving long meaningless replies to our questions which add absolutely no value and in return wasting our time.
And I doubt those spammers learnt anything from pratyush sir’s blogs. If they really gained something they would have thought about why so many ppl are asking them to stop, instead of defending themselves.

I support sumit here. It’s nothing wrong to ask for links to know it’s authenticity. I agree it’ll sound a bit rude to ppl who recently started following this blog. But now, after I mentioned back story, you can understand why he asked.

One more thing ajeeta, WANDERER is not our leader. Even if he didn’t mention this issue today someone will mention it soon. We all share similar opinion, he raised this issue so we all supported him. If me or sumit or some other raised this first then others would have supported us that’s it.


Apart from free advices she writes “this is the best blog” (or) “this is my favourite blog” under every blog 😂. You can’t find a blog without her comment or reply. Initially I thought she is helping others by answering them soon I realised I was so wrong.


I agree with you and Sumit here. I just couldn’t take it anymore, thus I squeezed a few minutes out from my schedule and mentioned this issue here. And if any other person have said something similar, I would have supported them the same.

Nikita Bhandari

Thanks Ajeeta… I m glad it helped.

Nikita Bhandari

In one of sir’s articles he talked about tolerance. Which one exactly I forgot. But I remember the idea. When I added that with what I extra I have learnt from somewhere else, I got a new idea/solution, which, when I m implementing in my life, is helping me to sail through some hurdles of mine. So I shared it with Ajeeta..


Criticism doesn’t have to always be bad. That’s the point of this essay. It’s to use that criticism to introspect if what we are doing may be truly wrong and we need to figure out how to do better for our own growth. If Criticism doesn’t help with that then don’t let it affect you anyway. It’s pointless then.



Miss Advocate

With due respect ,
you are vision for many vague thoughts.
Most of the people are here, who are aspirants of UPSC or other exams.
But i have read your book “in search of success ”
Thank you for authoring.
But I want to know you
who you are ?
Being one of the your admirers deserves to know you because people are investing their time & energy on your work. So which book you ‘ll recommend me to read, which ‘ll help me to know you i mean Your personality ( the Author ) .
Actually who you are !
what are the purpose of your writing ?


He has written one fictional book. I think the protagonist of that story is what he is or at least how he wants to be.

Miss Advocate


Miss Advocate

I had read this lines, i know this book “beyond human” also but what i want to know about him only he knows..
So still waiting for his response
May be on mail or publically he knows it better.
But Thank you both of you for the piece of advice.

Miss Advocate

Now you have given advice.
Dhanyawad for taking out few minutes time to write.

Miss Advocate

Hope keeps the world alive.
Beyond limit is intolerable but maintaining a limit defines self discipline, self restraint.
Abhi jo hai so hai boss
There are no prejudicial consequences in having it bcz it takes me on cloud nine & self pleasure is enough,
Because it’s totally related to me, not from others…. Until or unless it is inconvenience to other one, there is no harm it
I do accept it, proud of it.
Thank you.


still you came here to give unasked advice

I answered because I don’t think Pratyush would have replied to this comment. I just tried to help the person by writing what I thought was right.

It’s Beyond Human, not the fiction one.

Beyond human basically contains the ideas, and the fictional one portrays how a person would look if he believes these ideas

Actually who you are !

that’s what she asked and I believe a person is more than mere ideas and we can better understand someone by their action.

That’s why the fictional one is quite an amazing book to see overman in action though usually ignored compared to beyond human

Also, I didn’t ask for your opinion and what you thought of my comment but still, you replied, ain’t it contradictory to what you wrote? isn’t it hypocrisy?


Yaar let’s leave it here. Hemant said I “think” Pratyush sir is or want’s to be the protagonist in that fictional book. Think is the keyword here.

And you are also correct because pratyush sir clearly mentioned in his book discription page.
There is nothing wrong in unasked advices until they turn into spam. ☮️🙏

Miss Advocate



I believe overman is a process rather than a destination. So my wording was kind of incorrect that Rohan is overman in action. By choosing his own values, Rohan is kind of becoming overman through his actions.


How big of a role do neurotransmitters like dopamine, serotonin, oxytocin play in our day-to-day happiness? is it possible to reduce their influence to make happiness more unconditional?


Can’t quantify impact they play. But they do play important role. Simple example to put is of game of football, it is so trivial and doesn’t have any impact on me – it still affects on large scale. Every Messi goal,assist or nice play were an invitation for above brain chemicals sudden rush. Yes it all fine when he plays nice. But when he loose, he doesn’t play upto his standards I did suffered previously. As he always plays best in 9.5/10 games, things get bad when he doesn’t play best. So with other players like ronaldo or Virat or AB. They doesn’t have any role in my life but still I made to suffer myself.

It is possible – objectivity helps a lot. Putting things in right perspective for what they are helps. Doing important things and making them convenient to do,also helps. (Vice versa difficult to do unimportant things.) Like watching highlights. Considering every player equal and like us. Happiness becomes unconditional as I watch the game to understand,to learn,to have leisure.

This is one example..I feel it can be applicable in most of the things we do,watch,play.


More something overestimated, more neurotransmitters will rush.


I think we are vicariously living through these players. We consider their performance as our performance. I think it comes from our tribal experiences. You cheered the fighters because the survival of your tribe depended on their performance on the battlefield.
That’s why there are people who support Messi and bash Ronaldo and vice versa. I have written more here

Miss Advocate

Everyone can’t think as you think.
May be you had bonafide intension while writing or putting your views to others but why people Targeted you only
For two days people started putting his own views on your writing everywhere, it started annoying you ,
You are on public platform
You can be either praised or criticised.
So stay calm strong & happy soul.


Ajeeta please read this with open mind and don’t consider this as criticism.
One last attempt to change your perception. I’ll mention them in points

1. It’s nothing wrong to stay anonymous. showing real face and name won’t make people any great. Lets take wanderer, he choose that name much before this thing happened even i have this name for past 6 months it’s not like I put on disguise only to mention this.

2. You are mixing everyones comments. Everyone are mentioning different things but majority thinks you are spamming. You also indirectly agreed (i think even you felt that thats why you deleted all your earlier comments). Some people complained about free advices some thought you are here for Author’s attention and few thought your comment without thinking much etc. You can’t mix everything and think everyone here are irrational and misogynistic. If you read comments with open mind you can find very sensible and rational comments too.

3. You said people remembered comments you mentioned a year ago. I think they might have revisited those blogs or you must have typed same thing in many blogs.

4. You said ppl who are commenting about you didn’t tried to help others. Most of the comments you find in this blog space are for author. People expect sir’s reply so others might have refrained from answering . its nothing wrong if others answer those comments but those answer should be meaningful and useful.

5. You are saying ppl are commenting even after you deleted all previous comments. Many of us are not aware of this until you mention this but past impressions remained in our minds. I think those impressions are the reason for all this criticism.

6. If you are so annoying why others have to waste their time and emotions?
If you give reply to others comments and after reading that if they think it is not useful for them its definitely waste of their time. Yeah they can stop reading your replies but its general human tendency to answers to their question. its very hard to stop reading something in front of their eyes especially when they are desperately searching for an answer.

Yes we are mediocre ppl and i think you are not special, you too fall under this category. we are no heroes but most of them don’t need a target to take down.
And finally you have right to do whatever you want. we can advice and suggest you but have no right to stop you.

Note to others: Lets not prolong this. she will do whatever it feels right to her after reading this.


Pratyush Sir,
YOU MIGHT NOT LIKE another UPSC query amid this deep philosophy. But, it’s important.

Please UPLOAD MORE OF YOUR TEST COPIES….. We have only 4 MGP copies and 1 Lukmaan available…. If you upload 6 to 7 more MGP test copies (better if evaluation remarks included), it will complete the tools required to see UPSC with “your” new eyes.

Please consider uploading more of them.

PS: Reply if you accept (so that I won’t restlessly wait)


How to understand things sir?
Like my end sem are going on I went on doing ratta I forgot everything and got confused…..now I decided I will understand things and give exam but that too I am reading forgetting I am not recalling things….pls advice